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Mindy Lee M. Lipsky

Certified Business Coach
Certified DISC Practitioner

 

610-705-3526

 

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“Fake it ‘til you Make it” – it’s all about confidence!

I’m sure you have heard the phrase “Fake it ‘til you make it”.  If you Google the term you will find articles and blogs showing many various points of view.  Some discuss how it is done, some say what a terrible idea it is, some tell a success story around it. I can see all points of view, but I have to admit when you use it in regards to mindset it can be a VERY powerful tool on your journey to success.

 

Over the years the interpretation has gone too far in the wrong direction at times.  For example, you want to “look” successful in order to feel confident.  You interpret that as being rich with lots of lavish items. So, you decide to live the life before you earned it by “faking it” buying a bunch of things on credit you can’t afford. There is a huge difference in changing your mindset by believing vs. buying!  It’s one thing to exude confidence before you fully believe it.  Merely “looking the part” by wearing expensive clothes, driving expensive cars, and living in a large home is not going to get you there.  Success and confidence is much more than THINGS.

 

Even if you aren’t buying a bunch of stuff you can’t afford, you can still make “Fake it ‘til you make it” backfire and feel icky!  Faking it is very different than stretching the truth or even flat out lying.  Before someone will work with you or buy from you they need to Know, Like and Trust you.  If you are being authentic they will know it… if you are NOT being authentic, they’ll know that too!  If your confidence quest is costing you large sums of money or worse yet your integrity… it’s not going to work in the long run.  Eventually your confidence will be squelched by the overwhelming reality of debt, lies catching up with you or the loss of your ability to be trusted.

 Confidence

How to “fake it” like a pro!

Like I have said… “Acting as if” or “Faking it ‘til you make it” is a mindset.  Changing how you think will change your level of confidence.  Growing your confidence is a process that doesn’t happen overnight.  You need to practice.  You practice by putting yourself in situations where you NEED to use confidence. Over the past year I have gone to many, many networking events.  Most of these events I had to drive in places I have never been by myself depending on my GPS.  Then when I arrived I would walk into a room where often times I didn’t even know one single person there.  The first few times I thought my heart would jump out of my chest!  But as I practiced and changed my thinking, it got easier.

 

Getting rid of thoughts like “what if” or “maybe” or “I hope” will help reduce doubt creeping in.  Find where even a small amount of confidence lies within you and build on that.  Simply saying, “I can do this” can change your outlook in a situation. Did you know fear and excitement have exactly the same physiological reaction?  They do! Think of it… your heart beats faster and you may feel butterflies in your stomach.  It is our mind that decides how we interpret what that feeling is.  With some training you can change your interpretation of fear to excitement.  Replace your negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones.  When you find yourself in a negative spiral, take a deep breath and reframe it.  Change the thought process to a positive one full of positive expectation.  Instead of saying, “Oh gosh, I don’t know anyone here!” reframe it to “Wow, I get to meet some great new people tonight!”

 

From time to time, when meeting someone new in our mind we focus on what we don’t know instead of the vast catalog of what we do know and are passionate about!  This can cause unnecessary angst and worry. When meeting with someone talk about what you are excited and passionate about.  Tell them what you CAN do for them and feel confident about that.  If you are asked about something you don’t know… say you don’t know but you will find an answer for them and get back to them.  As you practice your confidence will grow and so will your knowledge base and experience. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake or even fail at something.  We can learn a ton from mistakes if we take the time to see the lesson in it and grow from it.

 

Being able to be outwardly confident even when you aren’t feeling it is a learned skill.  It takes practice.  But, with practice you can step out of your comfort zone into a place of confidence and begin to grow beyond your wildest dreams!  If you want tips on growing your confidence or help with this, give me a call to set up an appointment!  I’m holding the door to your comfort zone open so you can step into your empowered future NOW!

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