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Mindy Lee M. Lipsky

Certified Business Coach
Certified DISC Practitioner

 

610-705-3526

 

Message Mindy

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Inspriation

Be inspired by these stories of strength

I declare this the summer of Baking, Writing & Meditating!

Today is Saturday! I just came in from sitting out back on my patio with my dog and a cup of coffee. The skies are DEEP blue, there is a cool breeze and the sun is bright and bold!  Best of all, the humidity is VERY low and the temps are in the low 70’s. For me this is the perfect weather. I decided to do my morning meditation our there. Today’s guided meditation was about Abundance, Prosperity and Success. It was the perfect way to start the weekend!

During my mediation I had a light bulb moment… I choose to make this the summer of creativity!  My 2 favorite ways to be creative are Baking/Cooking and Writing!  SO my new goal is to work those in daily in addition to my meditation practice. I am finding my new normal after the death of my momma. To find my balance I want to incorporate the things I like to do in life, instead of just the things I “should” do.

I started Mediating on February 13th 2018 at the suggestion of my counselor. Today marks 146 days of consecutive meditation. Am I good at it… No. But who cares. Even if you do meditation “wrong” you still benefit. Does my mind wander. Yep! You betcha!  However, I do have days where I am more focused and less wandering. I highly recommend trying it. If you are new… try an app. There are a bunch out there. I started with Calm and moved to Insight Timer.  Insight Timer is the app that helped me to make it to 146 days. I suggest you try some out and stick with the one YOU love! If you are seeking inspiration, motivation, balance or just some “me time” I highly recommend trying meditation. It isn’t easy at first, but keep trying… you will learn how it can benefit you, even if you aren’t perfect at it!

A few days ago I started cooking and/or baking daily. I have always loved to be in the kitchen and try new recipes and perfect family traditional recipes! I baked Watermelon Cupcakes with my daughter, made funnel cake, made the Carnival Cruise Line Melting Chocolate cakes (YUM)!, and I even made up a recipe for Strawberry hand pies! I have been researching homemade bread, pizza dough, doughnuts and more!  On the savory side, I have made pretzel roll hot ham and cheese sandwiches, my husbands family traditional Haluski (see the recipe here), and tried Goulash (one of my momma’s favorites!  They all turned out great so far! For me, baking and cooking is relaxing. It has a methodology to it and an order to it that is calming for me. Cooking may not be your thing… but take a moment to stop and think of something that makes you happy!

 

 

 

And finally writing. Yes, I have a lot to say. I have always wanted to write a book. I have 2 book outlines made up, but so far I have not written the books!  I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I am going to make a goal to write something every day. It can be in my journal, or a blog post or maybe a chapter of one of the books!  I am going to just leave it at… I will write each day! I am excited to bring you topics about the things I am excited about, mad about, reminisce about… anything!  So stay tuned!  I plan to have some great content here in the coming days, weeks and months! 

An Entrepreneurs work is never really done…

HAPPY 4th of July 2018!  

Yes!  I am working on a holiday!  Many entrepreneurs make the choice to work whenever they can… although I am a big supporter of balance and making sure there is down time and time to rest, recharge and recover! Today I decided to put in some time to work ON my business, and will relax a bit later with family!

Last night I had a bunch of dreams… I do dream a lot, but one stuck out in particular. I dreamt that I was helping people through life coaching instead of just business coaching. I know Life Coaching has a stigma to it. There are many out there who call themselves a “Coach” but have zero qualifications to do so… That’s not me! Check out my About page to see why I am qualified… but I digress…

ANYWAY… today I decided to amp up the life coaching side of my business. You see, I just lost my momma on May 8th. She passed away peacefully after a long illness. I was her caregiver for 10 years. In that 10 year time I was also raising my 2 children… they are now 14 & 12… so they were 4 & 2 when my husband and I began being the sole caregivers for my mom. I have been in the sandwich generation for over a decade now. In that time I have made some mistakes, had hard decisions and learned A LOT! In the past few weeks the loss of my mom made me think about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I LOVE COACHING, but I did neglect my coaching business in these last few months of my mother’s life. Do I regret it… NO!  Emphatically NO! But, I DO have to rebuild my business. When an entrepreneur doesn’t work… they don’t get paid!  That is a fact!

Now, I could look at this as a negative, but I choose to look at this as a positive. I get to redesign my business AGAIN! While my passion is for helping small business owners and entrepreneurs grow their businesses… I also have a passion for those raising their children and those caring for their parents or sick partners.  I plan to help BOTH!! In the next few months you will see more Lifestyle blogs in addition to business tips! My expertise in the DISC behavior patterns can help in BOTH areas. So now I can help MORE people!

I took time this morning to re-categorize all the blogs I have written to date, so that you can find the type of information you need more quickly… you can see a list of the categories at the bottom of every web page on this site! I will update my entire site to reflect my new goals as well. 

My goal is to write more with more engaging content… so check back often!

Again… Happy, Happy 4th of July! I do plan to work a bit more then go spend some time with my family! I will be making homemade Halushki today! YUM! (with REAL Dough not egg noodles – yuck!) LOL

Have a super day! Hope to “see” you back here soon! Please check out the new categories and let me know what you think!

A Guide to Understanding Different Reactions to Tragedy

This morning I turned on Good Morning America, as I do every morning, only to be greeted yet AGAIN with the sad news of another mass shooting… this time the worst in “the history of American mass shootings”.  The fact that I just typed… “the history of American mass shootings” brings a tear to my eye. We as a country and the world have faced many tragedies recently… 3 devastating hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, wild fires, excessive heat warnings, floods, social and economical unrest, and now another mass shooting.  As our country faces pulling together after this recent tragedy, I am paused to consider the diverse ways people respond to tragic events. You see not everyone handles tragedy the same. And that is OK!  But it is helpful to understand that some will not grieve the same way you do. When we understand that we can help each other heal instead of judging.

As a coach and DISC practitioner I live for analyzing behavior patterns and solving problems. In crisis, I have seen some people rush to activism, some get to work to avoid thinking about it, some people rush to solitude, some rush to be with the people they love, some people research to find all the facts and try to make sense of it all. The point is… we all handle things differently. 

Most high “D” behavior styles will pause reflect and move on. They will keep busy with things they can control and act on.  They will allow themselves little downtime and little time to process. To others this may seem harsh or insensitive… but, this is just how a high “D” handles crisis.

Most high “I” behavior styles will flock to groups to be around people, some will start a fundraising effort, some will make signs or create (repeated) social media posts of support… a “we’re in this together” mentality.  They may share information that is not backed by fact, but more based on emotion. To others this can seem irresponsible or rash in the respect that they can stir up emotions in others.

Most high “S” behavior styles will shelter at home… surround themselves with what is comfortable, known and familiar. They will bring their loved ones close and make sure they are OK without sharing much about their own feelings. To other this may look like they are keeping their head in the sand… and to an “S”, that is just what they want in crisis!

Most high “C” behavior styles will watch all the news stations, read articles, listen to the radio, scan social media, gather information, and some will even try to figure out a plan to “make things better” or make sense of something that may not make sense.  They are looking for logic… something to solve, an answer. A high “C” will need as much information, angles and stories as they can get, even if it is upsetting to them.  To others this may seem like punishment… “Why are you doing this to yourself… turn off the TV”, But they can’t.

There is no “Right” or “Wrong” way to handle tragedy… what is most important is to give people the freedom to process without judgement of how they “should” react or respond. My goal in this article is to bring to light the fact that we are all different, yet all beautiful. As we try to understand what is going on in our world… remember to give people grace… give people the space to grieve or be angry or whatever emotion comes up for them… without judgement. We will get through this. Sending love and hugs to you all!

Is Eating Alone Embarrassing or Empowering?

Today I sort of messed up my schedule. I thought I needed to be at my first event at 10 am… well it turns out I didn’t need to be there until 3 PM.  I decided instead of driving back home the 45 minute drive and then returning again, I would instead set up shop and work on other things until my 3 PM event. In usual “Mindy Style” I didn’t plan well for my meals… something I struggle with but am working on. I knew it would be good to get a solid meal in before the event, so at 12:30 I decided to go to the local Bertucci’s for a solo lunch!  I didn’t hesitate because I do eat alone from time to time.  The funny thing is, when I tell someone I ate at a restaurant alone they get a shocked look on their face.  “What was that like??”  “Did you feel weird?”  Now, I’m not talking drinking a cup of coffee at Starbucks slumped over a laptop… I’m talking a full lunch in a busy restaurant alone…gasp!

 

Upon arriving I said “Just me” and smiled, the host only hesitated for a moment before putting back all but one menu and lead me to my table. I sat down and figured out what I wanted and decided I wasn’t going to linger on my tablet or cell phone… I was going to observe and relax for the time I was there.

 

So, here is what I observed-noticed: 

 

  1. The older people in the restaurant were engaged in conversation, while the younger ones seemed to be on their phones. (An unfortunate sign of the times I guess). The groups seemed to be in deep conversation, leaning in.
  2. I was served much more quickly than the other tables with 2 or more patrons. I didn’t have the chance to ask if that is by design or if they assume you don’t want to sit alone for “too long”. The tables with groups they seemed to time the meal at a steadier pace. I don’t think they were rushing me, but wanted to make sure I was taken care of. Food came out one after the next… I think I was seated and finished in about 20 minutes!
  3. I was checked on constantly… almost as if they wanted to make sure I wasn’t lonely LOL!
  4. I noticed no one would look at me. I could see people looking around the restaurant but they seemed to skip over me… especially eye contact. Except for one little boy, who on his way out with his mother and sister stopped at my table and said, “Good Morning!” with a huge smile on his face.  His mother quickly rushed him away saying don’t bother that woman. But I quite enjoyed his interaction and was glad I could say “Good Morning” back before he was out of earshot!  I wondered if HE thought I might be lonely and needed a friendly hello??  I did smile at a woman across the room… but she quickly looked away.
  5. There was 1 other person in the restaurant eating alone… She had her tablet and phone going and never looked up even when the wait staff checked on her. I wondered… could she be that busy or is she feeling embarrassed a little to be eating alone?

 

So, have you ever eaten alone?  How did it make you feel?  I loved the fact that I got to eat all 3 rolls in the Bertucci bread basket (my absolute favorite with their seasoned oil!  YUM!).  I loved looking around and really seeing the décor and the people there. I was content not looking at my electronic devices and just “being”, enjoying my meal. Don’t get me wrong… I love to eat with family, friends and colleagues as well!  But once in a while I think it is great to do things outside of the norm.  Eating alone can be very empowering and relaxing at the same time. Give it a try and let us know how it makes you feel!

 

From a Different View

From a Different View

My best friend and her 2 year old son are in town from Michigan this week.  For the first part of the visit my BFF has to work so, we are caring for her son for 56 hours (yes I am counting hours) while she is at a business conference.  I’m not counting hours because I don’t love being with this sweet, adorable, energetic boy… I count hours because our life for these 56 hours needs to be different due to his presence!

 

We have a 12 year old and a 10 year old… so it has been quite a few years since a toddler has been running amuck around the house. We all are on high alert making sure he is safe and happy.  He can’t be unattended like a 12 or 10 year old… so both my husband and I have adjusted our work hours and schedule to make sure we are more than vigilant but actively present during this time, so we can enjoy it!  It’s definitely different… It’s more time on the floor, so the house looks different from that perspective.  I found popcorn tucked under a chair where the routine vacuuming doesn’t reach…  I found a plethora of things little 2 year old fingers can grasp that I didn’t know was actually in reach.  I found he is FAST… I haven’t chased anyone in a long time and am now reconsidering returning to the gym to get back into better shape!

 

So what does this have to do with business?  A LOT!  When was the last time you took a look at your business from another view?  When was the last time you looked at your offerings from your client’s view?  When was the last time you looked at your business from your accountant’s view? Or your lawyers view? Or from your spouse’s view? Or your children’s view?  I could co on… The point is… things look different from other perspectives. 

 

Why not take a look at your business through different eyes this week?  Pick a few favorite clients and ask them to describe in their own words what you do… see what their perspective is.  (It may even help you update your bio or 30 second intro!) You can go even further and ask what improvements you can make in your offerings or services in their opinion.  Use the feedback to make your business BETTER! 

 

Don’t be afraid to take this challenge on!  Look at it as an exciting opportunity to see things from a different perspective and a unique opportunity to make positive changes and make your business better!  Let me know how it goes!

Something to Look Forward to!

Did you ever notice that life is more exciting if you have something you are looking forward to?  I certainly believe that to be true!  When I have a vacation or a visit with a friend coming up, I tend to look at the calendar a lot, counting the days and making my plan to fit everything in that needs to be done surrounding the event.  There is a positive buzz and even if other things aren’t going great, I have “Something to look forward to!”

 

I have a dear friend who moved away a few years ago.  I miss her terribly.  However, if I know specifically when I will get to visit with her again, face to face, it seems to make it better.  I have a more positive outlook and I know the end date (or goal), so I don’t seem to harp on how much I miss her, but instead on when I next get to be in her space. 

 

Sometimes it’s not a BIG event.  It might be something smaller like lunch or coffee with a friend.  Today I had a FULL schedule of work to do.  Some was exciting, some not so much!  However, I planned ahead and sprinkled in lunch with a friend to break up the day.  So this morning when things weren’t going my way, I simply remembered I’d have a break soon and be able to catch up, chat and laugh with my friend over a yummy meal at one of our favorite meeting places.  I came back to my office feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of my to-do list!

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The same is true in your business.  When you have nothing to look forward to it gets pretty dull and mundane!  BUT … When you are diligently working toward a fantastic goal or event, “work” is exciting and invigorating!  When work is exciting and invigorating you draw people to you and your business!

 

The best thing about it… YOU get to control what you get to look forward to in your business.  It could be a presentation you have coming up, it could be a HUGE opportunity you are looking for, it could be writing your first book, it could be acquiring that next amazing client.  It’s all up to you!

 

I have a vision board on the “back splash” of my desk.  This vision board has specific goals in pictures of things I want to achieve or have.  When I find myself getting in a rut I take a good hard look at the vision board.  I choose something to work for… to look forward to!  I set a SMART goal around it (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Sensitive).  Once I set the goal, I make a plan on how I plan to reach it.  Because after all, a goal without a plan is just a wish!  And voila!  I now have something to look forward to!  I can then make smaller goal posters or notes to remind me what I am working toward.  AND, when I meet with people to network my excitement will ooze out of me and get them excited too!

 

What are you looking forward to? If you don’t know… go find something!

The House with the Golden Windows

When I was growing up my mother would tell my sister and me many stories.  As an adult and mother to my own kids now, I find myself remembering and sometimes retelling the stories I once loved to have told to me.  One of my favorites was the house with the Golden Windows.  It is a story about perspective and appreciating what you have when you have it.  It can also be about not comparing yourself with others… I found this version of the story online… tell me what you think you can learn from it…

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(This is actually a picture of my neighbors window I took to remind me of MY golden windows)

The House with the Golden Windows

     Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a simple, small, and shabby-looking house. When she would be outside playing in the yard, she often glanced over the fence and across the valley and noticed a large house high on the hill. This house had “golden windows” that glistened every time the sun shone on it and the girl would dream about how lovely it would be to live there instead of in the ordinary house like hers.

      A few years later, when the girl was a little older, her mother gave her permission to ride her bike a little further up the street. She rode up the street, across the valley, and up the hill until she reached the house, with the golden windows, that she always admired from the distance.

     As she dismounted from her bike, gazing at the house, she was a bit disappointed in what she saw up close. The house was abandoned and dilapidated. The front yard was surrounded by weeds taller than her and the “golden windows” were actually plain and dirty, reflecting only the neglect of the house.

     Feeling so sad, she didn’t go any further. Heartbroken over the false illusion of her dream house, she mounted her bike and headed back to her house. As she glanced up, ahead of her in the distance, there was a sight that really amazed her. Across the valley on her side of the valley was a little house and the windows glistened just as golden as the house she was just leaving. It was the sun shining on her little house.

     It was then that she realized, she had been living in her “golden house” that she always dreamed of from afar. But her house was filled with love and care. It wasn’t abandoned like the house she often dreamed of someday having. Instead, everything she dreamed of was right there in front of her. In reality… she WAS living her dream!

MORAL: Things aren’t always greener on the other side. The way we view things aren’t always how they really are. We need to appreciate the things we are given and make the most of it.

We often compare ourselves and/or our businesses to others.  We are often comparing apples to oranges or our own challenges/weaknesses to other’s strengths.  When they look at us… they see the golden window too!  In the summer months when things tend to slow down and become more relaxed it gives us time to criticize and compare.  I challenge you to instead revisit and reevaluate what you are doing.  What is working?  What isn’t working?  Take the time to live in the moment, dream, create, and change things up. Ask someone you trust to tell you what they think of your business or what you are doing right in your life.  Then remind yourself that you ALREADY have golden windows!  How will you let your golden windows shine??

The Race

You may have heard my story before about running.  If not here’s the short version…  In 2009 I was told by 3 doctors that I would never run again.  I had the beginnings of stenosis of the spine, “crunchy” knees due to 5 surgeries from an ACL injury in High School and I was overweight.  I am the type of person that if you tell me I can’t do something I am going to prove you wrong!  So I began to lose weight and then in January of 2010 I started the couch to 5K program.  Long story short I ran my 1st 5K on April 10th 2010 and continued to run races until my ultimate race in October of 2011… The Hershey Half Marathon!

 

Half Marathon

 

There will always be people who tell you that you “can’t” or you’re “crazy”, “stop “dreaming”… I’m here to tell you that you CAN, you’re NOT crazy and NEVER stop dreaming!  I first heard this poem at a Mary Kay event probably around 1998… I still love this poem and I hope you enjoy it!  Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

 

The Race by Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

“QUIT! GIVE UP! YOU’RE BEATEN!” They shout and plead,
There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.
And as I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

And hope refills my weakened will as I recall that scene.
For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; now I remember well.
Excitement, sure, but also fear; it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope. Each thought to win that race.
Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son.
And each boy hoped to show his dad that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they went, young hearts and hopes of fire.
To win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
And one boy in particular, his dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the lead and thought, “My dad will be so proud.”

But as he speeded down the field across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd, he fell flat on his face.

So down he fell and with him hope. He couldn’t win it now.
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell, his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”

He quickly rose, no damage done – behind a bit, that’s all,
And ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself to catch up and to win,
His mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quite before with only one disgrace.
I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.
But, in the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
That steady look that said again, “Get up and win the race.”

So, he jumped up to try again. Ten yards behind the last.
If I’m to gain those yards, he thought, I’ve got to run real fast.
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye.
There’s no sense running anymore – three strikes and I’m out – why try?
The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had flew away.
So far behind, so error prone, closer all the way.

I’ve lost, so what’s the use, he thought, I’ll live with my disgrace.
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low. “Get up and take your place.
You were not meant for failure here, get up and win the race.”

With borrowed will, “Get up,” it said, “You haven’t lost at all,
For winning is not more than this, to rise each time you fall.”
So up he rose to win once more. And with a new commit,
He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been.
Still he gave it all he had and ran as though to win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he’d rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered the winning runner as he crossed first place.
Head high and proud and happy; no falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster crossed the line, last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud;
You would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his Dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me you won,” his father said, “You rose each time you fell.”

And when things seemed dark and hard and difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy – helps me in my race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and down and all,
And all you have to do to win – is rise each time you fall.
“Quit!” “GIVE UP, YOU’RE BEATEN.” They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says, “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”

-Dee Groberg

Mindy’s Comfort Zone Adventures: NYC edition!

If you read my social media or blog posts regularly, I am sure you have heard me talk about comfort zones before.  My tag line is “open the door to empower your future!” When I say “Open the door”, I mean the door to your comfort zone.  I practice what I preach!  I find some way to step out of my comfort zone weekly if not daily!  I am always trying a new networking event where I don’t know anyone or driving to a place I have never been before.  It is usually something mildly anxiety filled… except when I travel to NYC!

 

I have been to New York City a lot for leisure, but that has always been on an organized planned trip and with family or friends.   I have travelled to a few times this past year to visit my business coach.  I first travelled there for business in July of 2014, again in December of 2014, and again this past Wednesday.  For some reason going for business makes me so nervous.  I don’t know if it is worrying about being late, going alone, or getting lost… I just get very anxious at the thought of going to NYC.  My friend Emi travelled with me this time as we were attending the same event.

 Mindy & Emi

 

We started our day before the crack of dawn leaving our houses by 4:30 AM!  We drove to NJ to catch the NJ transit.  All was going well when we heard “Penn Station next stop” So we started to get off but I quickly realized this was not New York Penn Station but NEWARK Penn Station!  My first thought was… OH MY GOSH we got off at the wrong station… I proceeded to push everyone out of my way to get back on the train!  Not how I usually behave but I was in a panic!  We get back on the train and someone was in our seat!  AHHH!  We scurried to 2 open seats.  I just stared at the tickets in our previous seat wondering if I should have grabbed them.  I sat there thinking, “who names 2 stations the same 1 stop apart??!”  Then the conductor comes by and asks us for our tickets!  YIKES!  I stammered… “We were sitting there and got off at the wrong stop…” he saw the panic in my eyes, chuckled and moved on.  He must have thought “Rookies”!  Whew, crisis averted!  Emi and I decided we were just on an “adventure” and boy was I glad to be with her on this adventure and not alone!

 

We finally get to the correct stop and decided to get Starbucks for the 1 mile walk to the workshop site.  I have my Grande Flat White in hand ready to start walking.  I turned the GPS on my phone to pedestrian and we set out… of course we walked the wrong direction at first but I redirected us and we were on our way… 5 minutes into the walk I realized I was squeezing my cup so much it was spilling all over me!  UGH!  A slight panic attack followed, but I finally got that under control.  We arrived safely and on time… only took me about 20 to 30 minutes after that to calm down fully. 

 

I don’t know if it is the rushing, the sheer giant size of everything, the honking, the lights, the chance of getting hit by a car or taxi at every corner… I am just not a city girl… BUT I KEEP GOING!  I step out of my comfort zone into massive discomfort to grow myself and my business.  I keep showing up even when I don’t want to!  As a matter of fact, I am going back this weekend for TWO days!  I doubt I will like it, but it is important for me to keep doing it!  So tell me… where are YOU stepping out of YOUR comfort zone… go ahead… open the door… let the empowerment begin!

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“Fake it ‘til you Make it” – it’s all about confidence!

I’m sure you have heard the phrase “Fake it ‘til you make it”.  If you Google the term you will find articles and blogs showing many various points of view.  Some discuss how it is done, some say what a terrible idea it is, some tell a success story around it. I can see all points of view, but I have to admit when you use it in regards to mindset it can be a VERY powerful tool on your journey to success.

 

Over the years the interpretation has gone too far in the wrong direction at times.  For example, you want to “look” successful in order to feel confident.  You interpret that as being rich with lots of lavish items. So, you decide to live the life before you earned it by “faking it” buying a bunch of things on credit you can’t afford. There is a huge difference in changing your mindset by believing vs. buying!  It’s one thing to exude confidence before you fully believe it.  Merely “looking the part” by wearing expensive clothes, driving expensive cars, and living in a large home is not going to get you there.  Success and confidence is much more than THINGS.

 

Even if you aren’t buying a bunch of stuff you can’t afford, you can still make “Fake it ‘til you make it” backfire and feel icky!  Faking it is very different than stretching the truth or even flat out lying.  Before someone will work with you or buy from you they need to Know, Like and Trust you.  If you are being authentic they will know it… if you are NOT being authentic, they’ll know that too!  If your confidence quest is costing you large sums of money or worse yet your integrity… it’s not going to work in the long run.  Eventually your confidence will be squelched by the overwhelming reality of debt, lies catching up with you or the loss of your ability to be trusted.

 Confidence

How to “fake it” like a pro!

Like I have said… “Acting as if” or “Faking it ‘til you make it” is a mindset.  Changing how you think will change your level of confidence.  Growing your confidence is a process that doesn’t happen overnight.  You need to practice.  You practice by putting yourself in situations where you NEED to use confidence. Over the past year I have gone to many, many networking events.  Most of these events I had to drive in places I have never been by myself depending on my GPS.  Then when I arrived I would walk into a room where often times I didn’t even know one single person there.  The first few times I thought my heart would jump out of my chest!  But as I practiced and changed my thinking, it got easier.

 

Getting rid of thoughts like “what if” or “maybe” or “I hope” will help reduce doubt creeping in.  Find where even a small amount of confidence lies within you and build on that.  Simply saying, “I can do this” can change your outlook in a situation. Did you know fear and excitement have exactly the same physiological reaction?  They do! Think of it… your heart beats faster and you may feel butterflies in your stomach.  It is our mind that decides how we interpret what that feeling is.  With some training you can change your interpretation of fear to excitement.  Replace your negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones.  When you find yourself in a negative spiral, take a deep breath and reframe it.  Change the thought process to a positive one full of positive expectation.  Instead of saying, “Oh gosh, I don’t know anyone here!” reframe it to “Wow, I get to meet some great new people tonight!”

 

From time to time, when meeting someone new in our mind we focus on what we don’t know instead of the vast catalog of what we do know and are passionate about!  This can cause unnecessary angst and worry. When meeting with someone talk about what you are excited and passionate about.  Tell them what you CAN do for them and feel confident about that.  If you are asked about something you don’t know… say you don’t know but you will find an answer for them and get back to them.  As you practice your confidence will grow and so will your knowledge base and experience. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake or even fail at something.  We can learn a ton from mistakes if we take the time to see the lesson in it and grow from it.

 

Being able to be outwardly confident even when you aren’t feeling it is a learned skill.  It takes practice.  But, with practice you can step out of your comfort zone into a place of confidence and begin to grow beyond your wildest dreams!  If you want tips on growing your confidence or help with this, give me a call to set up an appointment!  I’m holding the door to your comfort zone open so you can step into your empowered future NOW!