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Mindy Lee M. Lipsky

Certified Business Coach
Certified DISC Practitioner

 

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Message Mindy

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Are you paying attention to what you are saying to yourself??

Self-Talk-Poster-2-15-13

Our mind is powerful… Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” Similarly Mary Kay Ash said,” If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

This past weekend I was out running and some guy in a maroon car yelled something No-so-nice to me out his car window as he drove by.  In the moment it REALLY hurt my feelings.  But in the moment I didn’t understand why.  I walked the final mile home, choking back tears and letting some flow.  I walked in my door, sat down at my computer and wrote this Facebook post:

“To the A-hole who yelled “get moving Fat Ass” to me at mile three of my four mile jaunts… if your intention was to hurt my feelings… you succeeded, BUT only for a moment. Yes, I choked back tears for the rest of my run. I am aware I am painfully slow and I realize I am fat… thanks for the news flash. However, I refuse to give you my power or my confidence. I will be back out there tomorrow and the day after… running at MY pace FAT ASS and all! At least I am OUT THERE! I suspect that if you EVER ran a mile that you didn’t HAVE to you’d have more RESPECT than to yell something like that. Now back to paying attention to people that I care about and that MATTER.”

That post got 19 Likes and 39 comments – all supporting me and bashing that moron for being rude. Thanks Guys!  **Blush**

Even though the purpose of me posting that in my mind was to get it out and move on, instead I found myself harping on his words and how crushed I felt in that moment.  While I ran today (the exact same route) I continued to process this… At about the same place in the workout that the guy in the maroon car had yelled out at me, I had a new epiphany!  I realized that his words were so hurtful to me that day because he was reinforcing what I was telling MYSELF that entire run prior to passing him in his maroon car.  My “self-talk” that day was not kind.  I was beating myself up for gaining weight, for letting myself fall out of shape after completing a half marathon in October of 2011, for being “painfully” slow, for my clothes being tight, etc. etc. etc.  If I had heard anyone speaking to someone the way I was talking to myself in my mind I would have told them how rude and disrespectful they are!

Yes, today I ran the same route, however the “self-talk” was different.  I ran the 4.21 Miles in the exact same amount of time, on the exact same roads, in the exact same direction, but this time I felt lighter and enjoyed the run MUCH more.  I reminded myself where I came from.  I took the time to look around, enjoy the buds on the trees and the sunshine on my face.  I listened to my favorite band (Bon Jovi) and sang along in my head.  When my legs hurt I said to myself, “you got this!  Just go to that tree up there” I sort of made a game out of it.  It was the same course but it felt completely different!

What do you say to yourself?  Are you getting in your own way?  I think we sabotage ourselves much more than we realize.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. ~ Buddha”

Self-Talk

We should be paying attention, because what we say to ourselves has a direct impact on our success – or failure.  Controlling our self-talk takes practice and discipline.  Even when we think we are doing well… that little voice of doubt sneaks in when we least expect it to.  The negative talk slowly takes over and becomes our new, unwanted mantra.  Before we can eliminate the negative self-talk we must first be aware of it!

The most common form of negative self- talk is “I Can’t” I challenge you to pay attention to when you speak or think the words “I can’t” and then ask “Why can’t I?”  Use this awareness with any negative thing you want to replace… change the word or phrase to something more powerful and positive!  You can even go so far as to create a positive affirmation.  Use ALL your senses…Visualize it, even cut out pictures if you can, Say it out loud in a powerful voice, imagine how it will feel, etc.  This works with ANY goal!

By being intentional about what we are thinking and paying attention to how we talk to ourselves, we can create a mindset to achieve the life we are after – whether it’s something personal or something professional, we’re likely to do better and most importantly, feel better about what we are doing.

I’d love to hear some of YOUR positive affirmations… Comment below with an affirmation you’d like to share!  And don’t forget to subscribe to be notified when new blogs are posted!

 

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